HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

Explanations:

Tianna and Jess were not speaking to each other. I was the mediator/double agent going between.

This is where the blasphemy all begins.

Tyler: I THINK IT WILL BE FUN TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS TODAY
AND WITHOUT PUNCTUATION
Jessica: I LIKE TO DO THAT TOO
Tyler: THIS WAY I AM LIKE DINOSAUR COMICS
BUT WITHOUT THE HUMOR
Jessica: WHEN I DO IT, I PRETEND TO BE GOD!!!
(OF COURSE, FROM DINO COMICS)
ELSEWISE, IT WOULD BE SACRELIGIOUS
Tyler: THEN YOU HAVE TO BE BOLD
Jessica: WHICH I AM NEVER
Tyler: LIKE THIS
Jessica: I THOUGHT THAT MADE ME THE DEVIL
Tyler: NO HE DOESN'T TALK LIKE THIS
Jessica: HOW DOES HE TALK, THEN?
Tyler: http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000523.html
IT WOULD BE RED THEN
Jessica: OH OK
Tyler: MY MOUTH WAS MERELY OCCUPIED WITH DORITO RELATED ACTIVITIES
BRILLIANT
Jessica: LOL
GOD THINKS THE DEVIL IS FUNNY, TOO!!!
(FOR MY PURPOSES, SINCE I CAN'T TYPE IN RED, GOD WILL BE CAPS, THE DEVIL WILL BE BOLD)
(JUST SO'S YOU KNOW)
Tyler: INTERESTING
IT IS DIFFICULT TO TELL
http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000776.html
Jessica: HAHAHAHA
Tyler: LET US GO AND GET WASTED
Jessica: DUDE!
Tyler: WASTATION SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD USE OF WEEKEND
Jessica: THIS IS AN AWESOME PLAN
TIANNA: [really wants to put "has confused god" as my status, but knows it would be taken wrong by so many people]
LOL
SILLY MORTAL
TIANNA TOLD MICHAEL THAT THERE WOULD BE BOOZE AT THE PARTY TOMORROW NIGHT
Tyler: IT IS A GOOD THING YOU DID NOT LIE TO HIM
Tyler: REGARDLESS OF WHO IS LYING OR NOT
THERE WILL BE BOOZE.
Jessica: IT'S TRUE
Tyler: AS LONG AS WE UNDERSTAND THIS TO BE TRUE
NOW THEN
TO THE BOOZE
Jessica: TO THE BOOZE!!!
Tyler: I DID NOT MEAN NOW
STOP GETTING LOADED
Jessica: BUT
BUT
Tyler: YOUR SILENCE IS EVIDENT OF YOUR WASTED STATE
Jessica: IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA
Tyler: IT PROBABLY WAS
IT OFTEN IS
YOU MUST HAVE PUT DOWN AT LEAST A FIFTH OF VODKA BY NOW
JUDGING BY HOW LONG YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TALKING
Jessica: WELL, I'M DOING MY BEST
I'VE GOT A PROBLEM
TIANNA WON'T HELP ME W/ IT B/C SHE'S SHUNNING ME
Tyler: WHAT IS THIS PROBLEM
Jessica: IF SHE KNEW WHAT IT WAS, SHE WOULD APOLOGIZE AND BE DONE W/ IT
Tyler: IS IT TO DO WITH WOMANLY ISSUES
BECAUSE IF SO
I WISH NO PART IN IT
Jessica: NO WAYS
IT IS TO DO W/ WORK
I SENT HER LACKEY A MESSAGE TO GIVE TO HER
BUT I AM NOT SURE HE WILL
Tyler: I SEE
WELL AS LONG AS IT IS NOT WOMANLY ISSUES RELATED
NOT THAT WOMANLY ISSUES ARE BAD
IN FACT I AM COOL WITH THEM
I LIVE WITH A WOMAN
Jessica: IT'S TRUE, YOU DO
Tyler: AND I AM A HIP AND WITH IT MANY OF THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY
I AM SENSITIVE
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: BY MANY I MEANT MAN
Jessica: HEHE
Tyler: BUT STILL SENSITIVE AS THOUGH I WERE MANY MAN
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: Tyler: I AM DISCUSSING WOMANLY ISSUES
Brittany: With who?
Tyler: CARE TO GET ANYTHING OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM WHILE I AM IN THIS MODE
A FRIEND OF MINE
Brittany: I started my period today.
Tyler: HOLY HELL I WAS KIDDING
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: I TOO AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Jessica: TYLER, YOU ARE MY FAVORITE
THE MISSIONARIES ARE LOOKING AT ME ASKANCE
Tyler: IF ONE MUST BE LOOKED AT ASKANCE
MISSIONARIES ARE GOOD PEOPLE TO DO IT
ESPECIALLY SENIOR MISSIONARIES WHO HAVE PERFECTED BEING BETTER THAN YOU
AND BY YOU I MEAN EVERYONE
Jessica: LOL
I FEEL JUDGED
BY YOU
Tyler: IF BY YOU YOU MEAN EVERYONE
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: PERHAPS YOU ARE CORRECT
Jessica: OF COURSE I DO
;)
Tyler: I DO NOT JUDGE YOU
YET

Jessica changes her status to say "It's weird to hear your name out of nowhere"

Tyler: THAT IS PEOPLE PRAYING
IT IS DIFFICULT TO GET USED TO AT FIRST
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: TIANNA IS GOING TO LEAVE SOON
THERE SHOULD BE RECONCILIATION
Jessica: HUMPH
Tyler: CAN YOU FLIP A COIN TO SEE WHO WILL APOLOGIZE
Jessica: I DON'T CARRY CHANGE
BESIDES, WHY ON EARTH WOULD I APOLOGIZE?
Tyler: FOR PEACE
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACE
Jessica: MEH
THAT'LL HAPPEN ANYWAY, AS IT'S ALL A GAME
Tyler: I KNOW
BUT STILL
PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEACE
THE MANY LETTER ES MAKE IT EXTRA EMPHASIZED
Jessica: I THOUGHT THEY JUST MADE YOU SOUND WHINY
Tyler: YOU ARE MAKING ME SOUND WHINY
HOW IS THAT FOR A RETORT
Jessica: AWESOME
Tyler: BITING NO DOUBT
Jessica: I FEEL WOUNDED
NIGH UNTO DEATH
Tyler: GOOD THING ABOUT IMMORTALITY ISNT IT
Jessica: COMES IN HANDY
Tyler: THIS DOES NOT SEEM PRODUCTIVE
Jessica: WHAT DOESN'T?
Tyler: THE STATUS WAR
IF I ACT AS MEDIATOR
WILL YOU ENGAGE IN A CHAT
Jessica: I SUSPECT YOU OF PLAYING BOTH SIDES
Tyler: BUT STILL HERE
Tyler: ITS LIKE BEING OMNIPOTENT BUT WITH NONE OF THE RESPONSIBILITY
Jessica: SO BEAUTIFUL
Tyler: I REFUSE TO BE COUNTED AS YOUR LACKEY ANY LONGER
NOR AM I TIANNAS
Jessica: I NEVER COUNTED YOU
Tyler: I AM MERELY A MAN STANDING ON THE BATTLE LINE SINGING GIVE PEACE A CHANCE
Jessica: I KNEW YOU WERE A DOUBLE AGENT ALL ALONG
YEAH, YOU AND MICHAEL BOTH
COUPLA HIPPIES
Tyler: HIPPIES WITH GUNS
YEAH
HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT VISUAL
Jessica: SO MUCH COOLER THAN THE TRADITIONAL ONES
Tyler: http://www.qwantz.com/archive/000900.html
READ THE THIRD PANEL
I HAVE DONE THIS IN REAL LIFE
THE GIRL I WAS KISSING WAS NOT HAPPY
Jessica: LOL
Tyler: EXCEPT IT WAS NOT IN MY HEAD
THERE WAS A SHOW ON THE TV
AND A JOKE WAS MADE
AND I LAUGHED HARD
IT WAS A BAD MOVE
Jessica: HEHEHE
Tyler: I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING IT
Jessica: I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND
Tyler: PUT THAT IN YOUR BOOK OF ADVICE
AND SMOKE IT
Jessica: ALTHOUGH, KISSING WHILE SO DISTRACTED MAY NOT BE WISE EITHER
ESPECIALLY 'CUZ WHEN ASKED WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT, I'D HAVE TO SAY "TYLER"
PROBLEMATIC
Tyler: OH MY
THAT WOULD BE ODD FOR ALL PARTIES INVOLVED
Jessica: QUITE
Tyler: AT LEAST IT IS NOT A WOMAN WHO TOLD YOU THIS
Jessica: TRUE--EVEN MORE AWKWARD
Tyler: INCREDIBLY SO
I AM GOING TO GO NOW.
Jessica: OK
OK
ENJOY YOUR BINGE
Tyler: I HAVE BEEN
YOU DO THE SAME